Buried.

Days like today are the days that I wish I could see my son the most. Just hold him or tell him everything that is on my mind. I may not want people to hold me while I cry, but I would love to hold him and just let it all flow. Every time someone proves they are unreliable, every time I fight with my husband, every time I feel like I'm about to lose every little piece of my sanity... I just want my son. I feel like all of these problems would seem so minute and small if I could just have my son alive.

Any time I hear pregnant women complain about typical pregnancy symptoms or when I hear mothers gripe about things that their children do; I wish they would just feel one ounce of my pain and then they would all know how blessed they are. I would take a 24 hour long temper tantrum every day for the rest of my life if it meant that I could see my son open his eyes one time. See if they are cocoa brown like his dad's or caramel brown like mine. Hear his laugh. Even his cry.  If you are a mother... PLEASE, I BEG OF YOU: do not take the gift that you have for granted!