Eli's Story



Eli Scott Phillips
Born into God's arms: May 10th, 2011
9:05 pm
9.5 inches long, 11 ounces



These are little Eli's feet. Notice that they are not much larger than this nurse's fingernails.






Over time, I plan to make this page FULL of my son's story. However, it is all still fresh in my heart and my mind, so I think I will wait.


Eli's legacy page





The birth:
On the morning of May 10th we had an appointment with Dr. Fletcher to check on things. After this appointment we were supposed to have an appointment later that same day with Dr. Stanley to make a final decision on what was to be done in our situation.  On the way to Fletcher's office, the conversation was light. My husband was feeling optimistic. He had done no research on Trisomy 18  and he was leaving it in God's hands. Mark is forever the optimist. I had had bad feelings for the past few weeks. There was a sinking feeling in my chest but I was trying my hardest to not succumb to it. When was the last time I felt my baby kick? I couldn't remember. 

I remember the feeling in my stomach while we were sitting in the waiting room. There was a sense of vacancy. All of the other pregnant women and women with new babies seemed foreign. In my mind I had already separated myself from them. Minutes later I would know why. The same pregnant nurse who always assisted us called us back and took me weight and blood pressure. Just another person to comment on how tiny I was and how unrealistic that seemed in a woman 26 weeks pregnant. She wasn't as far along as I was and she was already quite larger. Another instance that made me feel like an alien in my own body. The nurse took us back to the consultation room where she was going to check the baby's heart rate. We made small talk for quite some time about my spider bite and how disgusting we all found creepy crawlers. She approached the table and I knew the routine. Lay back, raise your shirt, pull your skirt down a bit. Then came the cold goop. She stood there for awhile probing my belly. Like she was searching for a hidden treasure. This was my first indicator that something was wrong. I kept looking at Mark in a panic and he would just give me loving, reassuring eyes. Finally the nurse announced that she couldn't find a heartbeat but that this was a common occurrence with women my size. She said she would go schedule me for an ultrasound with Dr. Fletcher and she'd be in to get us into a room when it was available. I immediately text my mother and told her they couldn't find a heartbeat. To keep us in her prayers. 

In the ultrasound room they told me there was no need to remove my clothes and robe-up. This was another small indicator of what was to come. Dr. Fletcher came in and didn't say a word before having me lie back and applying more goop. In mere seconds, there it was on the screen: Our baby. There was the chest. No heartbeat where a heartbeat had once been. She confirmed what I had been afraid of all morning; our baby was gone. She hugged me and said she was so sorry and I cried for only a moment and told her that I had seen this coming. She told me she had as well and then said it was time to discuss our options. This wouldn't be as simple as our D&C. Apparently, I had to give birth. I had to go through the process of labor for a child who would never walk the Earth. She told us she was going on vacation on a Friday so we would have to deliver our child before then and we told her we wanted to go home and collect ourselves and inform our families but that we would be back in an hour to begin the induction. She said she would get a delivery room ready for us and inform the check-in desk that we would be there so it wouldn't be a long, drawn-out process. She apologized once again and we left her office for the last time.






Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers